How counselling works

Every counsellor works differently, however it’s important to know that all counsellors should be respectful, empathetic, and non-directive. This means the role of the counsellor is not to give advice and tell you what to do, but rather to listen to you in order to help you understand the challenges you face more fully, and to support you to determine the best way forward. Where appropriate, a counsellor may also offer some therapeutic tools to assist you to overcome limiting beliefs and patterns, and / or to move towards your desired outcomes.

How counselling differs from talking to a friend

Unlike a friendship, counselling is a formal relationship with a person who’s trained to listen and maintain confidentiality. A counsellor’s role is to help you understand your particular issue more completely, and to support you to determine the best way forward based on your individual needs, circumstances, and preferences. Whilst therapy and friendships have some aspects in common – care, listening, support, and compassion, they’re fundamentally different types of relationships. Unlike a friend, a counsellor’s role is to support you to determine what’s best for you based on your values, beliefs and ideals, whilst remaining impartial and refraining from giving advice or telling you what they think is best for you. Unlike a friendship, the counselling conversation is one way, with the entire session dedicated to you and your issues and challenges. During the counselling session the counsellor is present, but their personal identity is not, and nor should it be! For counselling to be effective the counsellor must leave their personal opinions and preferences at the door. Counsellors offer a professional relationship which supports the exploration of your personal issues in a safe, non-judgmental and confidential space.

What will happen in the first session?

The initial session is generally spent exploring what’s brought you to counselling and what you’re hoping to change through the therapy. You don’t need to worry about what you’ll say during our first session, just come with an open mind and we’ll guide you through the process as much or as little as you need. During our initial session, we may also explore your previous experiences and current concerns in order to understand your experience more fully, and to determine which therapeutic approach might be the best fit for you. By the end of our first session, you should have a clearer understanding of your issue and what you’re hoping to gain through therapy. You should feel understood and clearer about how counselling can support you to make the changes you want to make in your life.